Tuesday, December 27, 2011

How my life changed

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How my life has changed

There are few things in life that change a person as much as having a child does. As far as I’m concerned, the advent of my daughter’s birth signaled a complete overhaul in terms of my outlook on life. The day it happened, seconds after her birth, a million things flashed through my mind. How was I going to care for this fragile little being by myself? Will I be any good at bringing this tiny person up to be a productive member of society? My entire life changed, as well as the way I went about so many different things, from my driving to my language.

First of all, having my daughter has made my life more purposeful. It’s amazing what you are willing to do for someone who is completely dependent on you for everything. For once in my life, I had a very powerful reason to make something of myself. It just wasn’t going to cut it to live life without some sort of plan for the rest of my life. It forced me to pull myself together in order to make a home for her. It also brought me to the realization that I couldn’t spend the rest of my life working in bars.

This in turn made me take a long hard look at what I want to do with my life and how I want it to turn out. For one thing, I realized that I want to own a home before I turn thirty, so I can provide a stable environment for her to grow up in. I can only imagine how jarring it must be to spend your childhood moving around from place to place. Another thing that I decided was that I wanted a stable income in order to provide for my daughter consistently as opposed to living paycheck to paycheck (or by nightly tips).

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All this brought me to the logical conclusion that the only way that I was going to get the house with the two-car garage and steady income was to pursue some kind of higher education. The more I thought about it, the more sense it made. For one thing, you can’t get a decent job without some kind of education after high school. Just about any employer that is offering a salary position requires at least an associate’s degree before they will even give a person seeking employment the time of day. Another reason I wanted to go back to school was that for the past couple of years I had been stuck in a rut. I would go to work, get out at 10 or 00 a.m. and stay up until the wee hours, go to bed as the sun was coming up, get up in the afternoon, get ready for work, and start all over again. I figured a little challenge would do me some good. I was getting tired of not feeling productive.

Another thing that my daughter has changed about me is that I am a much cleaner person now. Having children around makes it a necessity to keep a clean environment for them to play and explore without having to worry whether they are going to pick something up off the floor that they shouldn’t. It’s also necessary to keep a clean house in order to keep germs under control and thereby reducing the likelihood of them getting sick. This is not to say that I was a complete slob before I had my daughter, but I am a lot more meticulous about keeping my house clean.

These and so many other things are products of my daughter’s presence in this world. You’d be surprised at how you find yourself so willing to give up so many different things, change so many different aspects of your life for your children. I often find myself wondering what kind of path my life would have taken if I had not gotten pregnant with my daughter, and then I think of the many ways my life has improved since having my daughter. It has by no means been easy, but personal growth rarely ever is.

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